Can I Join?

There are four basic requirements to join Sapphic Spice LA.

You’re sapphic (queer, lesbian, bi, pan, etc.)

You’re aligned with femininity

You’re experienced with kink and BDSM

You’re 18+

But we get it. Queerness comes in all shapes and sizes, and gendered terminology like “women” or “girl” or “lesbian” can feel confusing. It can be hard to know if you’re “sapphic enough” to belong in a space like this, so we’ve broken it down for you.

Here’s how to know…

  • You're Sapphic

    Sapphic - an umbrella term for any woman (or femme-aligned gender) attracted to those of the same gender, regardless of their sexual orientation. The term is inclusive of individuals who are lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, aromantic, asexual, or queer. You don’t need to “prove” your sexuality, we trust you to self-identify.

  • You’re femme-presenting, femme-of-center, or femme-aligned.

    Femme energy doesn’t have to mean hyperfeminine. For our community, "femme" is more about a connection to womanhood than outward presentation. Butch, futch, chapstick lesbians, and everyone in between- you’re all welcome here.

  • Femininity is core to your identity.

    This is not a space for cis men, masc-centered queers, or those who occasionally dip into feminine expression. We love you, we see you, but this community isn’t for you. Our space is for those whose femininity is a core part of their gender experience, not a fetish, costume, or occasional exploration.

  • You’re experienced in BDSM and respect kink and community.

    Our private events are sex positive, kink-centered play parties designed for experienced kinksters. That being said, to allow our guests the opportunity to express themselves to their fullest extent, we do not consider our parties "beginner-friendly".

    If you do not know what RACK, SSC and FRIES mean, this is not the party for you. If you don't know what your aftercare needs are, this is not the party for you. If you think BDSM and swinging are synonyms, this is not the party for you.

    We love you. Try a dungeon and come back later!

One of our firm boundaries is that this space is exclusively for people who do not identify as men or straight in any capacity.

This includes people who may strongly identify with femininity or have a fluid relationship to gender but still identify as men in their day-to-day lives.

This boundary exists to preserve a sense of safety, shared experience, and cultural understanding within our community, not to police
expression or invalidate anyone’s gender identity. If someone identifies as a man at any point, regardless of how that manhood looks or feels,
this may not be the right fit.

The goal isn’t to be exclusionary- it’s to carve out a space that rarely exists. And that means being intentional about who’s invited, so we can
keep our space sapphic, safe, and centered on shared experience. If you're excited about a community that centers femmes like you, we’d love
to meet you.

Hint: If you feel like you might belong here, you probably do.

Still unsure? Fill out the vetting form anyway!